No, It’s Not Off-Season Stiffness

This was shaping up to be a relatively uneventful offseason for our hero. The Royals signed the second baseman to a one year contract at the end of November, guaranteeing that he could afford to get that special edition Furby for his kids at Christmas and still have some scratch left over for a new car or twenty.

Then, Dayton Moore made a big trade to bring over some pitchers from Tampa Bay and it looked like the team might not suck so bad in 2013, which is cool. Because, making a million dollars isn’t as much fun when you have fans wishing your team took more steroids, not fewer.

Then, the GM went on a binge of crappy fourth outfielders and utility players, suddenly picking up the 2002 MVP, Miguel Tejada, and saying he might compete for the starting job at second base.

Not cool, Dayton. Not cool at all.

Of course, these things have a way of working themselves out on the field. That punk Gia-whatever-his-name-is hasn’t pushed Getzie out of the starting spot yet.

Something is obviously bothering him, though.

Perhaps he’s thinking about more than baseball.

Maybe he heard about the town in Utah that changed a street name from Morning Glory to Morning Vista because a tech firm thought it sounded too sexual.

Maybe Chris is concerned because he thought it was a flower and not morning wood. Is he out of touch with what slang the kids are using these days? Should he be reading random Urban Dictionary postings every day to make sure he’s up to speed on the latest in offensive suggestion?

Or, is there something wrong with these executives? Maybe they’ve got dirty dirty minds and could use a trip to the Mormon Temple in Salt Lake City to remember what is good and pure about the world.

Whatever it is, Chris has decided to dedicate himself to coming up with a naughty innuendo using the word “vista.” That will show those schmucks.

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